Steven Croft's profile - supporters can see gallery

		Profile ID: 155838
Age	76
Height	5'10" ft
	(178 cm)
Weight	174 lb
	(79 kg)
Sexually is	bottom oral versatile
City	Cleaveland
Zip / postal	37311
State	Tennessee
Country	United States
Seeking	sex partner(s) a date a relationship friends couples
Prefer men aged from 35 to 70

Profile text:

I started man sex 24 years ago. I had earlier experiences and had to work hard all my life to not think that I was a homosexual. I mean I had to suppress my desires based upon early experiences. Some say that I was born to it.

Perhaps so.

I am married and love my wife dearly and never want this to change. I do know and now realize that if things had been in the past as they are today, I would have become an out gay male much earlier in my life. I am reasonably certain that I would have never married.

Twenty four years ago, I had joined a group for bi curious. I actually joined it further back than just 24 years ago. I was just curious to see what people were posting. I had no intention of starting gay sex.

My job and the security clearances had prohibited me from doing anything earlier. I was messaged by a fellow through the messenger feature with that site. He liked my picture and thought that I was handsome. That was nice. We started chatting.

Over the next few weeks he started getting into my head. He made me remember things from my past. He started talking about gay sex and how much he thought I was suited to it.

We started masturbating naked together over the messenger tool. We did phone sex. He showed me dildos and used them on himself. I wanted that. I have always been very anally arousable. I started using things on myself.

After a while, I wanted to please him. He got me thinking about servicing him and his friends. He got me thinking about him such that every time I masturbated or had sex with my wife I was thinking about him. I could not stop it. I could not get the image of his naked body and cock out of my head. I was so eager whenever, I got home from work to see if he was on. I was eager every time I had to be on the internet to see if he was there. I wanted to see him. I wanted to jack for him. I wanted to please him.

I lived in California and he in Maryland. I traveled to Maryland regularly for my work. I had learned that homosexuality was no longer a problem for clearances. In fact they could no longer ask you or probe you about your sexuality.

He and I had agreed to meet and he was going to fuck me and fulfill my life long desires and need. I remember on the plane out there all I could think about was that I was finally going to be the man pussy I had always been and needed to be as an adult. I was so ready and primed. I could think of nothing else the next day when I should have been thinking about work, all I wanted was his cock in me and me sucking him and kissing him and having my legs around him

At a very early age, I wanted to be a girl. I wont go into that. But that desire was there. I dressed for many years and would stuff my rear with everything.

We had a date set for the evening of the first night I was to be there. He did not show up. I was so dissapointed. Here I was going to finally feel what I had wanted for decades. I was going to be who I knew I was for decades.

I still jacked off in my room thinking about it. I went and bought some sausages to use as dildos. I was a bitch in heat.

When I got home to California, I was on the internet and asked him why he didnt show up. He gave me some lame excuse. We continued to jack on cam and do phone sex and masturbate together.

Then I had another trip and we scheduled another date. He didnt show up. Then later another trip and another date. I was so bonded with him that I wanted him to break me in. I had developed feelings for him such that every time we spoke or were on cam I told him I loved him and he would tell me he loved me.

Here I was a married man telling another man that I loved him romantically and begging him to make me his pussy his bitch his woman. It did not feel awkward or like something out of the ordinary. To me it now felt normal. It was something I had really always wanted.

Finally, he told me why he had not met with me. He had a partner and felt guilty abut cheating on him even doing the phone sex and cam sex and he did have feelings for me. He also didnt want to consumate our relatinship physically because he didnt want to hurt my marriage or hurt his relationship. I appreciated that. I was not going to let it hurt my marriage.

I was now a bitch in great heat. I had already accepted that I was going to be fucked and needed to be fucked. So living in the San Francisco Bay area, it was easy to find guys and I set out to find guys to fuck me and to have gay sex with. I did and it was what I had wanted and needed. My nature has always been submissive. My nature has always been to be a bottom.

I enjoy being a sex object. I enjoy having pictures and video made of me in sex acts where I am being used and my face is recognizable. I am an exhibitinist by nature. I have never been recognized. I do like to come as close to being out as I can. I do want people to see me as a gay sub bottom man hungry slut.

I have now had every gay experience that there is. When I am doing it and for those days and weeks it feels quite normal. It feels like that is who I was born to be. But afterward, I do have some guilt and wish I could stop. I have tried to stop many times but cannot. I do know that if circustances were such that I could live out, I would feel no guilt and it would just be a normal way of life for me. I somehow would want people to know that I do suck cock and that I do enjoy men usng me as a woman, or as a cum dump, for their carnal pleasure.

If I were out, I would get some piercings and also some tats just so that everyone would know who I am and also so that I would never be tempted to go back in the closet.

I do believe that I could have been wife material early in my life. I mean fem to the max. That fem streak is in me and always has been. I would have given up all my manhood to be a woman and that was before sex change came into being. My wife does not know. However, to this day she likes to comoplient me on my fem legs and ass. She doesnt do this in a sexual context other than sayig that she envies my legs and ass. I do have to say hers are great.

When I am on my back with my legs on a guys shoulders and he is fucking me and we are kissing and holding each other, I find myself thinking I am a woman and start sounding like a woman. It is deeply satisfyig to my core.

Early in my life, when guys called me a faggot even though I had not done anything outward that I could think of to cause them to call me that, I cringed. I did not like it. But it also reverberated inside me and I would immediately think what I did want to do which would have given them just reason. It was probably just bullying asserting their superior masculinity. Now as a mature man, it excites me.

I had planned on traveling somewhere to experience living out for a week. Unfortunately, expenses have prohibited me from doing anything like that.

Now I play when I can with whomever can get with me. I live in the country. There are those with whom I could play if our schedules matched.

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